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T.^.DENISON 6e COHPANY CHICAGO 






DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Cataloeue Free. 
Price 15c each, Postpaldc Unless Different Price Is Given 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 8 8 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1J4 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

v'25c) 4 4 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2j4 

hrs. (25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 5 
As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2V2 hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 234 hrs (25c) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (25c) 8 5 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

College Town, 3 acts, 2J4 

hrs. , . (25c) 9 8 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. 

(25c) 17 14 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs.. 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 

acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, '2.V2 

hrs <25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 

Enchanted Wood, IM h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1 ^ hrs. ^ 

(25c) , 7 6 

Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs. (25c) 4 4 

Fascinators, 40 min (25c) 13 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

Wi hrs (25c) 9 14 

Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2V^ 

hrs (25c) 13 4 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
Jayville Junction, 1^4 hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Lexington, 4 acts, 2J4 h..(25c) 9 4 



Light Brigade, 40 min (25c) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes^^ 1 hr. (25c)13 
Lonelyville Social (^lub, 3 acts, 

\Vi hrs (25c) 10 

Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 5 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2^4 

hrs v25c) 9 5 

Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (25c) Optnl. 
New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr.... 3 6 
Old Maid's Club, IVz hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25^^^ 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1^ hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2i^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c)10 12 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^ hrs. 6 5 
Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs. . 6 6 
Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2i/^ h. 8 3 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, 2^ 

. hrs (25c) 7 4 

Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h.'(25c) 6 4 
Town Marshal, 4 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 6 3 

Trip to Storyland, 1^4 hrs. (25c) 17 ?3 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town. 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. (25c) 5 3 
Women Who Did, 1 hr...(25c) 17 
Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min....... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 
Countrv Justice, 15 min....... 8 

Cow that 'Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 1 54 W. Randolph St. . Chicago 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET 
PASSAGE 

A COMEDY DRAMA IN THREE ACTS 



BY 

LINDSEY BARBEE 

AUTHOR OF 

All on a Summer's Day," "After the Game," "At the End of the 

Rainbow," "The Dream Tliat Came True," "The Fifteenth of 

January," "The Kingdom of Heart's Content," "Sing a 

Song of Seniors," "The Thread of Destiny," "A Trial 

of Hearts," "When the Cloek Strikes, Tzvelve," 

"In the College Days," Etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



By Way of The Secret 
Passage 



CHARACTERS. 

Mrs. Sherman The Hostess 

Betty Drew • Her Niece 

Ruth . . ^ 

Rita. . . >- House Guests of Mrs. Sherman 

Alice. . ) 

Hannah A Maid 

Madame Drew Of Revolutionary Days 

Annette. . . .") 

Caroline. . . r Her Daughters 

Elizabeth . . ) 

Wenonah An Indian Maid 

John Harvey Of the Patriot Army 

Note. — The character of John Harvey can easily be assumed by 
a girl, if it is not desirable to have a man in the cast. 

Scene^ — Just Out of Trenton, Nezu Jersey. 

Time — The T'resent. 

Time of Playing — About One and Three-quarter Hours. 

Act L Hannah's story. Christmas night. 

Act H. Rita's dream. Christmas night, 1776. 

Act HL Betty's Surprise. The day after Christmas. 

Setting — The Ui'ing room in the Drezv home. 

copyright, 1916, BY EBEN Hj^kOlfiJS. 

MAR -I 1916 , 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 



SYNOPSIS FOR PROGRAM. 

Act I. — Betty's engageriTent dance on Christmas night 
proves a great success and many discussions follow as the 
girls chat over their chocolate. The relics of the Drew 
home and its historic associations prove of never-failing 
interest to the members of the house party, for Mrs. Sher- 
man and Betty have many anecdotes and traditions to relate. 
Rita rejoices in the fact that the house has both a ghost 
and a secret passage. The portrait of Mrs. Elizabeth Drew, 
Betty's great-great-grandmother, excites much admiration. 
Hannah, a trusty servant of the house, tells the story of 
Mistress Elizabeth's romantic career and declares that on 
every Christmas night the ghosts of the happy pair haunt 
the very room in which they are sitting. Rita begs to spend 
the night in the haunted room, but is laughingly escorted 
to her own bed as sleepy goodnights are said. When all is 
quiet, Rita, lighted by "Lafayette's candle," appears again 
and after gazing fearfully about her, cuddles into the big 
chair and dreams a dream. 

Act it. Scene L — The Christmas dance ends with a 
heated argument in which Mistress Elizabeth stands her 
ground. Wenonah brings a message and John Harvey 
gains an interview with his lady love. His secret mission 
is made known to Mistress Elizabeth and the marked chart 
is put into her hands. Shots, pursuit and the secret passage. 

Scene 11. — Where is Elizabeth? Many answers to the 
question. The mysterious tapping. Elizabeth makes a 
dramatic entrance and brings astounding news. 

Act III. — ''And then — I awoke !" The girls urge Rita to 
test the revelation of the dream by showing them the secret 
passage. ''Not till Betty comes !" Betty's puzzling absence 
is discussed. Another mysterious tapping. Rita touches 
the spring and the panel slides back. "He's waiting for me 
— at the end of the secret passage !" 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 



STORY OF THE PLAY. 

Rita, Alice and Ruth are house guests of Mrs. Sherman 
and her niece Betty in their home near Trenton, a Revolu- 
tionary mansion with many attendant traditions. It is Christ- 
m'as night and all have returned from a Christmas dance 
given in honor of Betty's engagement to a young army offi- 
cer who is spending his holidays in Trenton while waiting 
for his commission. After the usual desultory conversation 
which follows in the wake of a Christmas festivity, Rita 
roams restlessly around the room, admiring and comment- 
ing upon many interesting and historic things The ques- 
tions concerning the family portraits are answered by Mrs. 
Sherman and Betty, with, many anecdotes and traditions, and 
Rita, charmed by the atmosphere of the place, declares that 
all it needs to make it quite perfect is a ghost and a secret 
passage. Mrs. Sherman laughingly asserts that both ghost 
and secret passage are included in the family associations 
and calls upon an old family servant for a ''story." Hannah 
tells the story of a Christmas night in 76 when a certain 
Elizabeth Drew, a loyal little patriot in the midst of a 
staunch Tory family, aided and abetted Washington's army 
in its sudden descent upon the. Hessians at Trenton. For — 
the story went — her lover was with the patriot army, and 
on this historic night she not only effected his escape by 
means of the secret passage, but also carried an important 
message to headquarters — and subsequently married him. 
Wherefore — according to tradition — each Christmas night 
the ghosts of the happy pair walk and talk together in this 
very room, and may be seen by those who have the inner 
eye. Rita begs to sleep in the ''haunted room," but Mrs. 
Sherman laughingly objects, and Betty refuses to reveal the 
whereabouts of the secret passage until the morrow. After 
all have retired, Rita steals into the room, curls up in the 
big chair, prepares to keep vigil and — falls asleep. 

Her dream is portrayed in the second act. Mistress Eliz- 
abeth's defiant defence of the patriot cause ; the stolen inter- 
view with her lover ; his discovery and his flight by the 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 5 

secret passage; her sudden decision to carry the message 
to headquarters and its dramatic consequences, all come to 
Rita in slumberland, and when the morning comes she tells 
her thrilling story. Betty has been called into the city by 
a mysterious telephone message and Rita absolutely refuses 
to reveal the secret passage until her return. All of a sudden 
a faint tapping is heard, a tapping which, upon investiga- 
tion, seems to come from beyond the wall. Rita touches the 
spring and the panel slides back revealing Betty, flushed 
and excited. After a storm of questions she gives the fol- 
lowing account of her movements. By appointment she has 
met her soldier lover for a morning ride. She finds he has 
received his commission, and, yielding to his urgent pleas, 
marries him. Like Elizabeth of old, she decides to bring 
the news by way of the secret passage. 

CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. 

Mrs. Sherman — Vivacious, thoroughly up to date. 

Ruth, Rita, Alice — Typically modern in every respect. 

All wear elaborate evening gowns and coats in first act. 
vSimple morning gowns in last act. 

Betty Drew — Bright, audacious, full of life. She wears 
an evening gown in the first act, a riding suit in the last. 

Hannah — Quiet and dignified. She wears conventional 
maid's costum"? with white apron. She should be middle- 
aged in appearance. 

Madame Drew — Haughty and imperious. 

Annette and Caroline — Argumentative and self-assert- 
ive. 

All wear evening gowns of the time of the Revolution in 
Scene L Morning gowns of the same period in Scene H. 

Elizabeth — Quick in repartee, self-willed, a trifle defiant 
but altogether charming. She wears quaint and elaborate 
evening gown, with long dark coat in Scene H. 

John Harvey — Earnest, impulsive and enthusiastic. He 
wears long mihtary coat, soft hat and high boots. 

Wenonah — Stolid, slow of speech. Wears the Indian 
garb of those days. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 



PROPERTIES. 

Act I — Grand piano and piano bench with rug ; music for 
piano. Colonial sofa : two colonial chairs ; colonial table 
with, old-fashioned mirror above; hassock; old-fashioned 
desk and chair ; three large oil paintings, two of women in 
old-fashioned costumes, one of a man in colonial dress ; two 
brass candlesticks with candles, matches, bric-a-brac, books, 
etc., for mantel ; andirons, hearth set and simulated fire for 
fireplace ; vase of flowers for table ; rugs, drapes, curtains ; 
pillows for sofa ; switch for electric lights ; call button ; 
sliding panel. Evening coats and dance programs for Mrs. 
Sherman and the girls. Engagement ring for Betty. Tea 
cart, chocolate pot, cups and saucers, napkins for Hannah. 
Christmas greens and mistletoe if desired. 

Act II — Candelabra and lamps for piano and table ; two 
candlesticks with lighted candles for mantel ; old-fashioned 
curtains for windows ; old-fashioned piano if possible ; even- 
ing cloaks, gloves, etc., for Madame Drew and her daugh- 
ters. Slouch hat and paper for John. Long dark coat for 
Elizabeth. Sewing for Madame Drew. 

Act III — Embroidery for Ruth. Duster for Hannah. 
Wedding ring and riding crop for Betty. 



— luoori c^ij 1 I 1 I y 

OHassocU Desk ^g^^^, I— _J \ 

iA/:-j~... Desk-chaip -i— 




SCENE PLOT. 

Door)' 



□ Chair Piano 

QenchO 



Doop 




STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center ; 
L., left; U.E., upper entrance; 2E., lower entrance, etc.; 
D. F., door in flat or scene running across the back of the 
stage ; up stage, away from footlights ; down stage, near 
footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 



By Way of The Secret 
Passage 



Act I. 

Scene: Living room in the Drew home. Full stage. 
Large door R. of C. in F, revealing hall beyond with zuain- 
scot backing. Practical door L. U. E. Windozvs R. U. E. 
and R. 2 E. Mantel and open fireplace zvith andirons; hearth 
set, etc., at C. in F. Desk and desk chair R. of mantel. 
Sofa L. of mantel. Grand piano and piano bench covered 
zvith Oriental nig, L.2E. Table between zvindows zvith 
old-fashioned mirror above. Large chair at C. and at R. 2 E. 
Hassock at R. U. E. Large gold-framed paintings above 
the desk, the mantel and the sofa. Handsome rugs, cur- 
tains and drapes. Books, bric-a-brac and tzvo brass candle- 
sticks zvith candles for mantel. Pillozvs for sofa. Vase of 
flozvers for table. Music for piano. Simulated fire for 
grate. Call button by door L. U. E. Szvitch for electric 
lights R. of door in F. For use in second and third acts, 
a sliding panel should be made in zvall L. of mantel. 
All furniture should be colonial in style. The subjects of 
the paintings should be in old-fashioned costumes. If pos- 
sible, old-style chandelier or side lights. Christmas deco- 
rations if desired. 

' At rise, stage is well illuminated and clear. 

Enter Mrs. Sherman, Rita, Ruth and Alice at R. of 
C. in F., Mrs. Sherman in advance. 

Mrs. Sherman {advancing to chair at C, followed by 
Alice). Lights all on for us. Are you too tired, girls, for 
a cup of chocolate? 

Rita {throwing coat on hassock R. U. E). Too tired? 
Do we look it? 

Ruth. Too tired? That's just your pretty, tactful way 
of saying, ''Hungry again, girls ?" 



8 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Alice (as Mrs. Sherman attempts to unfasten her coat). 
May I help you? (Unfastens the coat and lays it on piano.) 

Mrs. S. Thank you, AHce. Ruth, dear, will you ring for 
Hannah? (Ruth touches call button by door L. U. E. and 
throivs her coat on sofa.) And Rita, are you clever enough 
to resurrect a bit of fire? (Rita takes poker and stirs up 
fire.) Your chaperone will rest now, an it please you. 
(Seats herself in chair at C.) 

Enter Hannah, L. U. E. 

Mrs. S. Hannah, will you make us some of your good 
chocolate? (Looks around.) There are four of us and 
Miss Betty will be here in a moment. 

Hannah. Yes, Mrs. Sherman. (Exit L. U. E.) 

Rita (ivanning her hands at fire). This is some Christ- 
mas day ! 'Twixt the holly berry and everybody's nose there 
is no difference. 

Alice (seating herself on piano bench and throzving her 
coat beside her). Why don't you say lips instead of nose — ■ 
it's so much nrore poetical. 

Ruth (crossing to zvindozv R. U. E. and raising shade). 
Hasn't it been a Christmas-y Christmas? Lovely crunchy 
snow, frosty air, sleighbells — 

Enter Betty, R. of C. in F. 

Betty. Communing with nature, Ruth, or merely count- 
ing the stars? Or (tragically) can it be that you were spying 
upon Jack and me? 

Mrs. S. Why didn't Jack come in for a cup of choco- 
late ? 

Betty (crossing to Rita at fireplace). Dear Auntie, how 
could he know of such midnight dissipation? Anyway, I 
thought it was time for him to go. 

Ruth (corning to chair R. 2 E. and seating herself). So, 
I suppose he went — 

Betty (languidly sinking into desk chair and slipping her 
coat from her shoiilders) . A soldier's first duty is obedience. 

Rita (crossing room and dragging hassock doivn R. 
toward C). Well, Betty, it has been one grand, glorious 
engagement party. I'd be the cockiest girl in America if I 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 9 

could be so launched upon the sea of matrimony. (Throws 
coat from hassock to back of chair R. 2 E. and seats herself 
on hassock.) 

Betty. Dear child, your figure of speech is poor. 
"Launched upon the sea of matrmony" might appeal to the 
prospective wife of a naval officer, but it doesn't make a hit 
with anyone who intends to marry an army man. 

Rita. Well, then, how does "Plunged upon the battle- 
field" do? 

Betty. Savors too much of domestic warfare. Try 
again. 

Rita. My, but you're hard to please. 

Betty. Why shouldn't I be ? It's no small responsibility 
to live up to a man who has more virtues even than brass 
buttons. (Holds out hand and flashes her engagement 
ring. ) 

Mrs. S. (laughingly). My dear, my dear, do you realize 
that every engaged girl since the beginning of time has given 
the world this very sentiment, expressed in dififerent words ? 

Betty. Oh, no, Auntie; you're mstaken. No other en- 
gaged girl has ever had such an inspiration for rhapsodies. 

Ruth (shrugging her shoulders). Just you wait. Brass 
buttons tarnish. 

Betty (composedly). Not to such an extent that they 
can't be polished up. 

Alice. And if you don't mind my saying so, mere sins 
of omission would rather get on my nerves. 

Betty. You prefer one of commission, I suppose. Well, 
at present I should too — at least the military commission 
that has its origin in Washington. For just as soon as that 
comes — presto, change — we jump upon the honeymoon ex- 
press and dash away into the Land of Connubial Bliss. 

Rita (groaning) . More figures of speech. My head is 
reeling from them. 

Betty. And my feet are still keeping time to that last 
delicious dance. (Rises and rushes to Mrs. Sherman.) 
Up, Auntie. Hie you to the piano and we'll have a final 
whirl in honor of the day! (Mrs. Sherman protests hut is 
dragged by all four to the piano. She strikes up a spirited 



10 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

tune and the four girls engage in a gay modern dance zvhich 
is interrupted by the entrance of Hannah, L. U. E., with 
a tea cart bearing chocolate pot, cups and saucers and nap- 
kins. ) 

Mrs. S. (reseating herself at C). Hannah, you've saved 
the day — or is it night ? For something to drink is the only 
thing that will settle this mad crowd. 

Rita. Something to drink usually has the opposite effect 
I've been told. Beware, my friends, of too much Christmas 
spirit. (The girls seat themsekrs as before. Hannah 
wheels cart R. of Mrs. Sherman, passes the chocolate and 
then, at a nod from Mrs. Sherman, withdraws L. U. E.) 

Alice (after a pause). Oh, I just hate to go to bed! 

Ruth. Who dares to say anything about bed? 

Alice. Well, we're obliged to go sometime, aren't we? 

Ruth. I don't want to think that this day can ever 
end. It's been just one succession of wonderful events ever 
since we emptied our stockings early this morning. 

Alice. All due to our hostesses. Any particular joy that 
Betty doesn't think of, Mrs. Sherman does. 

Mrs. S. That's prettily said, AHce. Will you allow the 
hostesses to say that seldom have they had such inspiration 
for their efforts? 

Alice. That's prettily said, too. 

Rita. This house is a delight to me — something new and 
interesting each day. Why, I can scarcely close my un- 
worthy eyes in sleep for looking at my particular bed. Imag- 
ine sleeping with the hours carved above your head, festoons 
of poppies at your feet and two dear cherubs for foot posts 
— one with finger on mouth to represent silence, the other 
holding an hour glass to remind you that tempus fugit. 

Mrs. S. a Florentine bed. It has been in the family 
since the beginning of time. 

Ruth. There's a real Chippendale desk in my room. 

Betty. Belonged to a literary ancestor, dear. She wrote 
such gems as ''Lines on a Fallen Leaf" and "After Dancing 
with A. B. C." 

Alice. Well, I wouldn't trade the little old-fashioned 
worktable in mv room for all of that. It has brass snuffers — 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 11 

Mrs. S. And was the property of my grandmother. If 
you peep into the Httle drawer, you'll find the thimble she 
used when fashioning all the dainty bits that went into her 
wedding chest. 

Rita {rising and zvalking tozvard mantel). Everything 
has a history — that's what makes it all so thrilling. Why, 
I suppose even this candlestick has been soaked with asso- 
ciations. {Takes candlestick from mantel.) 

Betty. More likely with candle grease. 

Mrs. S. Those identical candlesticks, Rita, were used by 
Lafayette when he passed the night at the home of our 
Revolutionary ancestor. 

Betty. Notice that we say our Revolutionary ancestor — 
singular number. Most of our progenitors were hot, pep- 
pery, old-fashioned Tories, and this particular patriot stands 
forth ''fair as a star, when only one is shining in the sky." 

Ruth {rising and placing cup and saucer on tea cart). 
The old mirror is my favorite. {Goes to mirror above 
table.) I wonder how many belles of ancient days it has 
reflected. 

Betty. Lots of 'em — our family has always been fond 
of primping. 

Alice. The lady above the mantel is downright magnifi- 
cent. She takes my breath away. 

Betty. Quite so. She took away her husband's, too. 
When he came to die he had no fear of the King of Ter- 
rors — he had lived with the Queen too long. 

Mrs. S. {reprovingly) . Betty! Betty! What will the girls 
think ! Alice, the lady in question simply lived ahead of her 
time and was correspondingly assertive, efficient and^we 
must admit it — domestically tyrannical. Her youngest son 
came to America and founded this branch of the family. 
{Places cup on tea cart.) 

.Rita {placing cup and saucer on tea cart). Whose picture 
is above the desk? {Seats herself R. 2 E.) 

Betty. That is the youngest son, previously mentioned. 
He was a gay old sport according to reports. Slew Indians 
by the ten thousands, burned witches with impunity, was 



12 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

a terror of the road on week days and a pillar of the church 
on the Sabbath. 

Mrs. S. Betty, ^top your nonsense and ring for Hannah. 

Betty (rising). But I like him just the same — for he 
had the courage of his convictions and established his rights 
in this new world. (Pushes button). I like men who ac- 
complish things — who fight for what they want — who stand 
for real principles — who — (hesitates) 

Alice. Wear brass buttons. 

Betty. Exactly. How did you guess it? 

Ruth (seating herself on hassock). Don't stop the illus- 
trated lecture, but tell me about her. (Points to picture 
above sofa.) 

Betty (curtsying). Allow me to introduce Elizabeth 
Drew, my great-great-grandmother, of whom I am the un- 
worthy namesake. Step up ladies and gentlemen, and take 
a closer view. 

Enter Hannah L. U. E. She takes Betty's extended 
cup, also Alice's and places them on the tea-cart, lingering 
as she does so. 

Rita (enthusiastically) . Isn't it dehcious? All that you 
need to make everything quite perfect is a ghost — oh yes, 
and a secret passage. 

Mrs. S. Suppose we tell you that we have them both. 

Rita (clasping her hands). Really? 

Betty. Every well regulated family has a ghost, al- 
though I believe it's usually called the skeleton in the closet. 

Rita. But a real ghost — a real secret passage — 

Mrs. S. And a real story! (Glances at Hannah, ivho 
stands back of her.) Suppose we have Hannah tell us 
about it. 

Ruth (rsing and pushing Hannah on hassock). A story 
• — a story! Sit right here. (As Hannah resists.) Oh, you 
must — you must! (Hannah glances inquiringly at Mrs. 
Sherman.) 

Mrs. S. (nodding). Yes — you must. It's just the story 
for Christmas night. (Ruth crosses back of C. and sits 
on floor L. of Mrs. Sherman.) 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 13 

Rita. But I want to hear of the ghost — the secret pas- 
sage and — 

Betty (seating herself on piano bench by Alice). Dear 
child, it is Christmas, ghost and secret passage all rolled 
into one — and only Hannah can describe the bargain in sat- 
isfactory terms. 

Hannah. You see, Miss Rita, my mother was hous- 
keeper in the Drew family and her mother before her. The 
stories have been told me so often that it's natural for me 
to feel a part of them all. 

Mrs. S. Just as it's natural for the Drew family to feel 
that grandmother, mother and daughter have been very in- 
dispensable to its welfare and happiness. 

Hannah (smoothing her apron). It was in 1776, you re- 
member, that — 

Alice (interrupting). Now, Hannah, begin with "Once 
upon a time" — that makes it a real story. 

Hannah. Well, once upon a time Mistress Elizabeth 
Drew lived in this very house with her mother and two 
sisters — and a very wilful and independent young lady she 
was — 

Ruth (interrupting). Nozv we understand why Betty 
bears her name. 

Hannah. Those were Revolutionary days and families 
were divided against each other. Madame Drew and two of 
her daughters were strong Tories, but Mistress Elizabeth 
chose to differ and became a staunch, little rebel. To make 
matters worse, her lover joined General Washington's 
forces. 

Rita (sighing). Another soldier lover! It does run in 
the family. 

Hannah. The British had set the Hessians to guard 
Trenton and on Christmas night, 1776, there had been great 
carousal in the camp, for they were given to cards and drink. 
Washington, as you remember, chose this night to cross the 
Delaware and surprise the Hessians, and as a sort of spy 
he sent on this patriot lover of Mistress EHzabeth, who was 
to find the weak places in the camp of the enemy and report 
to the general at the moment of his landing — 



14 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Alice. Don't tell me he was drowned — or shot, or — 

Betty. Of course not, silly. How could there be a story 
without the hero? 

Hannah. A Christmas ball had been given in the town, 
from which Madame Drew and her daughters returned very 
late. Hot words had been said about the patriot cause and 
Mistress Elizabeth was in a defiant mood. So, when a trusty 
little maid told her that her young lover was lurking around 
trying to get a glimpse of her, she forgot the danger of his 
being there in a Tory house, opened that door (pointing to 
L. U. E.) and called him in, while the little maid kept guard. 
{She pauses, girls come closer in their interest.) Now, John 
Harvey — for that was his name — was a very foolish fellow, 
for after he had found out what he wished to know about 
the Hessians and where the camp was open to attack, he 
would have been quite safe had he kept hidden. But no, he 
must get a word with his lady, and being young -and very 
much in love, he ventured forth. 

Ruth, li he hadn't we shouldn't have had the story. 
Go on, Hannah. 

Hannah. Hardly had he told Mistress Elizabeth of his 
important mission and important news and how he feared 
pursuit, when the little maid rushed in, shaking with fright, 
and declaring that the house was being watched by two 
Tory soldiers. Then, I have no doubt, Master Harvey re- 
alized how foolhardy he had been and how he had no right 
to risk his life unnecessarily when he was in his country's 
service. There was the clank of a sword, the sound of a 
footstep — (Betty rises noiselessly and goes to switch R. of 
door in F.) — the flash of a lantern — (Betty turns off the 
lights). 

Mrs. S. (in alarm). Why — (turning around) Betty! 

Betty (raising her finger). Sh-h-h ! We are now ap- 
proaching the first mention of the secret passage. We shall 
soon have our first news of the ghost. It is right, seemly 
and most appropriate that we be in utter darkness. (Stands 
back of Mrs. Sherman.) 

Hannah. Mistress Elizabeth had to think for two. So 
her mind turned to the secret passage, knowing that it led to 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 15 

the lower garden where the horse was tethered. In a jiffy 
she started him on his way, then shd back the panel into its 
proper place and waited. Soon came a pistol shot, another ; 
then the sound of horses' hoofs on the smooth, hard-trodden 
snow, and the knowledge that the Tory soldiers were hot in 
pursuit. 

Rita. Then I supposed she fainted. 

Hannah. Not Miss Elizabeth. She had too much at 
stake. Her lover was due to report to Washington. Sup- 
pose he had been captured, or wounded, or killed ! What of 
the message? Without hesitation she threw a long, dark 
coat over her ball dress and entered the secret passage. 

Rita. Bully for her — 

Alice. Oh, the story — quick, quick ! 

Hannah. Well, Master Harvey was wounded and cap- 
tured ; but he managed to escape and arrive at headquarters 
a few moments after Mistress Elizabeth, had given the mes- 
sage. Of course there was only one end to the story. So 
the two were wedded immediately with the good General's 
blessing. (Rises.) 

Ruth. Did they live happily ever after? 

Hx\nnah. So happily that every Christmas night their 
ghosts come back to this very room. (Moves to L. U. E. 
with tea cart.) And now, Mrs. Sherman, allowing me to 
say it, all of you should go to bed. 

Rita. Bed, after knowing that the ghosts are here — right 
now? (Looks over shoulder.) 

Alice. Don't look so supernatural, Rita. You make the 
creeps go up and down my spine. Oh, do let's go to bed. 

Betty (turning on lights and yazvning). So say we all 
of us. 

Rita (rising and seizing both of Betty's hands). Not a 
step ! Betty, do you know where that secret passage is ? 

Betty. I certainly do. 

Rita. Then tell me — this minute — or — 

Betty. Or what? 

Rita. I'll invoke the spirit of your ancestress. 

Betty. According to tradition, she's already here. You 
can't scare me — 



16 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Rita. Then tell me, Betty — ivherc is the secret passage? 
{Looks ^ curiously around. ) 

Betty. Tomorrow I'll demonstrate — ^but not tonight. 

Rita. Then Til find out for myself. I will, I ivill! 

Hannah {at L. U. E.). Good night, Mrs. Sherman. 
Good night, young ladies. 

All. Good night. 

Ruth. And think up another story for tomorrow, Han- 
nah. {Exit Hannah, L. U. E.) 

Mrs. S. {rising and taking coat from piano). I'll let you 
all sleep extra late in the morning so that we may make up 
for this extra dissipation. 

Rita. Oh please, Mrs. Sherman — please, Betty — please, 
everybody — let me sleep here tonight. Why, it's a chance 
that will never come my way again, and I'd never forgive 
myself if I refused to hobnob with a ghost. Think of what 
I might add to science — think of the data upon spiritual- 
ism I might give to the world. 

Mrs. S. And think of the nervous wreck I'd have on my 
hands. No my dear, your rest is worth more than any tra- 
ditional ghost. {Ad^oz'cs around, straightens pillozvs. etc.) 

Alice {rising, taking coat and ivalking toward R. of C. 
in F.) Anyway, there's no place to sleep. 

Rita {leaning over back of chair at C). This is as good 
as any bed. 

Betty {taking Rita's coat from chair at R. 2 E. and 
throzving it around Rita's shoulders). Better than your 
Florentine bed ? Heresy ! 

Alice {turning and yawning). Oh, hurry up! (Betty 
takes ^iT A by ear and marches her R. of C. in F.) 

Mrs. S. {hurrying to mantel). Wait, Rita! (Betty aiid 
Rita turn. Mrs, Sherman takes candlestick from mantel 
and lights it.) As a peace offering, take Lafayette's candle 
and light yourself to bed. {Hands candlestick to Rita.) 

Ruth {rising, crossing to sofa and throzving her coat 
over her arm). Wait, and let me guard the other side of 
the prisoner. {Exeunt Ruth and Betty zvitli Rita betzveen 
them, R. of C. in F.) 

Mrs. S. {zvith hand on electric light szvitch). Ready, 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET P/VSSAGE. 17 

Alice? (Alice nods and goes out R. of C. in F.) Then 
out goes the light. (Turns out light and exit R. of C. in F. 
Stage clear.) 

Betty (behind the scenes). "How far this little candle 
throws its beams!" Look out for that step, Ruth. (Sound 
as if climbing steps.) 

Ruth (plaintively). Oh, please hurry. I'm so sleepy 
that — (fretfully) stop poking me, Alice. 

Alice. Well, the ghost is poking ^ne. 

Ruth. Ghosts don't poke. 

Alice. And I can feel it brush past me. Ugh ! 

Betty. Don't call my famous ancestress it. She objects 
and I object. Here's your door, Rita — 

Rita. I — want to — sleep downstairs — 

Betty. Nay, nay, fair love. Good night and pleasant 
dreams. (Sound of door being shut.) 

Ruth (sleeply singing) Good night, ladies! (The others 
take up the strain, sing through one verse — the sound grad- 
ually dies azvay. Silence for a fezu moments.) 

Enter Rita, R. of C. in F. in fancy negligee and slippers, 
hair unbound, carrying the lighted candle. She peers ner- 
vously around, pulls shades down as far as possible, glances 
in mirror, holding the light high above her head and finally 
seats herself in chair at C. Once more she turns nervously 
around, then blozvs out the candle, sets the candlestick on 
the floor and cuddles into the chair. 

Curtain. 



18 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 



Act II. 

Scene I : Same setting as in Act I with a fezv changes. 
An old-fashioned piano and stool, if possible, shoidd take 
the place of the more modern instrument. The vase of 
flozvers, the sivitch for electric lights, the call button and 
all modern trifles should be removed. Curtains of the colo- 
nial days shoidd be at the windows. Lighted candles on 
mantel and lamps or candelabra on pianv and table should 
furnish the light. If Christmas greens are used in both 
acts, the arrangement in Act II shoidd be different from 
that in Act I. Stage is clear and well illuminated at rise. 

Elizabeth enters hastily from R. of C. in F. and crosses 
to C, where she stands, throzving her cape to chair and defi- 
antly pulling off her gloz^es. She is followed by Madame 
Drew, Annette and Caroline. Annette and Caroline 
throzv their long capes on sofa. Madame Drew follozvs. 
Elizabeth to C. 

Elizabeth. No, mother, I shall never again drink a 
toast to His Majesty the King — never! {Stamping foot.) 
Never! I — 

Madame Drew {angrily). Elizabeth! {Sinks on chair 
R. 2 E.) 

Elizabeth. I couldn't be true to my conscience and pro- 
pose the health of a man who has tried to crush the spirit 
of liberty in his own people, to dictate where he should only 
advise — who is a narrow, selfish tyrant — who — 

Annette {rushing to Elizabeth and placing hand over 
her mouth). Hush, Elizabeth, hush! You must not say 
such things — you must be more careful or something will 
happen, somebody will hear — 

Elizabeth {sarcastically). ''Something will happen, 
somebody will hear!" Annette, do you think I'm afraid! 

Caroline {angrily). Well, you zvill be, when a red- 
coated soldier comes your way! 

Elizabeth {tossing her head). Oh, no I won't, CaroHne. 
There'll be a blue and buff one to rescue me. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 19 

Madame D. Elizabeth, this nonsense must stop. We 
have endured enough from you, and only our position as a 
family, together with our recognized loyalty to the king, has 
saved you from unpleasant situations. Fortunately people 
regard this attitude of yours as the harmless poise of an 
emotional girl. 

Elizabeth. Oh, do they ! Then it's my duty to let them 
know that the poise consists of decided opinions ; that — 

Caroline (interrupting). Please don't disgrace us pub- 
licly again. (Seats herself on sofa.) Tonight, when you 
refused to drink the toast to the king, I could have died 
with mortification. 

Annette. It was worse than meeting the enemy. (Flops 
on the piano stool.) 

Elizabeth. The only enemy that you fear, my dear 
sister, is, ''What will people say?" 

Madame D. Public opinion is not to be scorned. Eliz- 
abeth, you are the daughter of a house whose loyalty 
to royal word has been traditional ; whose every associ- 
ation has been identical with that of the mother country. 
You are making no requital when you pledge your adher- 
ence to a rebellious faction. 

Elizabeth (kneeling by her). Mother, can't you un- 
derstand that it is a question of principles with me? 

Madame D. Principles ! Nonsense. Y^ou should have 
no principles contrary to those of your family. 

Caroline. Y^ou should have no allegiance to anyone 
save the King ! 

Elizabeth (rising). The King (Scornfully.) The 
King! Let him be careful or he'll forfeit the name. Tyr- 
anny cost one monarch his head ; another his throne. 
(Advances to C.) 

Annette (zvhispering). Hush! Someone may be list- 
ening. 

Elizabeth. Who cares? I've nothing to be ashamed of. 

Caroline (spitefidly). But zue have. 

Elizabeth (turning). Meaning — me? 

Caroline. Meaning — you. It is not reasonable to sup- 
pose that we enthuse over your conduct. 



20 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Annette. And we are not particularly proud of your 
admiration for a fanatical crowd that is too narrow-minded 
and mercenary to pay an ordinary tax to its mother country. 

Elizabeth. Do you think for a moment that a paltry 
forty thousand pounds a year is at stake? 

Caroline. Then what is it, pray? 

Elizabeth. The right of petition, the privilege of self- 
taxation, the liberties of popular assemblies. (Leans on 
hack of chair.) 

Madame D. Fiddlesticks ! It all results in one thing — 
disloyalty and rebellion to the King. 

Elizabeth {turning). No, mother. At the beginning 
of the trouble the King had no more loyal subjects than 
those in America. Had he recognized the fundamental 
principles of English liberty — 

Madame D. (rising and pulling down curtain at ivindozv 
R. U.E.). You're talking like a book. What are the ''fun- 
damental principles of English liberty," as you call them? 

Elizbeth. The substance as well as the form of self- 
government. 

Caroline (scornfully). And do you think that this 
handful of untrained men can stand against the disciplined 
troops of the British? 

Elizabeth. Wait and see. 

Annette (petulantly). We are waiting. The result 
will be that the rebels will be placed under heavier penal- 
ties for their insubordination, and that those who have been 
loyal to the King will profit thereby. 

Elizabeth. Again I say, wait and see. 

Annette. Again I say, we are waiting. 

Caroline. Lexington and Concord have meant nothing 
to the provincial cause. 

Elizabeth (ironically). The British made a splendid 
retreat. The Americans could hardly keep up with them. 

Annette. And surely, Bunker Hill was a British victory. 

Elizabeth. It's a great thing, of course, to win from 
adversaries who have no ammunition. 

Madame D. (coming dozvn R. to R. 2 E.). What can 
you say of Long Island — \Miite Plains? Why, the Colo- 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 21 

nists' cause is already doomed. Their general has been 
forced to retreat into Pennsylvania ; their troops are al- 
ready dwindling ; it is merely a matter of days until they 
surrender. 

Elizabeth. Washington is not yet beaten, nor is he 
wholly discouraged. If you don't mind my repeating it, 
wait and see. 

Madame D. It's such a forlorn hope. It will mean 
nothing but humiliation for all those concerned. Don't 
be foolish, Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth. Just what is it that you wish me to do? 

Annette. Stop talking, for one thing. 

Madame D. (laying hand on Elizabeth's arm). Insure 
your position in royalist society by severing all interest in 
this mistaken rebellion. 

Caroline (sharply). Give up John Harvey. 

Elizabeth. And why? 

Annette. He isn't your equal. 

Elizabeth. His family is quite as good as ours ; a little 
better, if facts be known. 

Madame D. His enlistment in the Colonial army has 
forfeited all right to family ties. (Seats herself at C.) 

Elizabeth. There are many to dispute that point, 
mother. As a trusty aide to General Washington, he is 
quite living up to family traditions, I think. 

Caroline. Well, the question is, will you give him up? 

Elizabeth. To that and all other requests of a similar 
nature — most decidedly, no! 

Annette (rising). Oh, I'm so tired. War, war — 
everything war! Our town guarded by a lot of Hessians — 

Elizabeth (mternipting). Who have been hired by the 
British — (scornfully) hired ! 

Caroline. It isn't fair — it isn't fair ! Soldiers instead 
of suitors, bugles instead of serenades, drills instead of — 

Annette. Minuets! Come, let's have one. i^Seizcs 
Caroline and pulls her to her /eet.) Just to drive away 
the thought and talk and worry of it all. (Turning.) 
Elizabeth, will you play for us ? 



22 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Elizabeth. I'm in no mood for music. (Crosses and 
stands at side of piano.) 

Annette. Then, mother. (Madame Drew protests.) 
Oh, you must; you must! (Annette and Caroline force 
her to piano stool.) And {glancing at Elizabeth), be 
sure that you weave into the music the strains of "God 
save the King!" 

Caroline and Annette dance a stately minuet. Eliza- 
beth silently watcJies them. Just before the end of the 
dance, Wenonah_, an Indian maid, appears in the door- 
zvay R. of C. in F. and stands irresolute, unseen by all 
save Elizabeth. Elizabeth^ seeing her, starts forzvard, 
but Wenonah lays a finger upon her lips in token of si- 
lence and quietly withdraivs. 

Madame D. {rising from piano). Not another note, 
girls. We're all tired and surely you've had enough danc- 
ing for one night. To bed, all of you. (Caroline and 
Annette listlessly take their coats from sofa and go 
slowly out of door R. of C. in F., yazvning and talking 
together.) 

Elizabeth. I'll put out the lights mother. 

Enter Wenonah, R. of C. in F. 

Elizabeth. Here's Wenonah, and she'll help me. 

Madame D. {seeing Wenonah). Why are you up, 
Wenonah? Surely your mistress can do without you on 
this particular night. 

Elizabeth {hastily). It's Wenonah's pleasure to wait 
for me. Perhaps she wants to hear about the ball. 

Madame D. Hasten, then, and be sure that the windows 
are fastened. There are many marauding soldiers these 
nights and one can't be too particular. Good-night, Eliza- 
beth, and think carefully over what has been said to you. 
{Exit R. of C. in F.) 

(Elizabeth stands motionless for a feiv moments until 
all is still, then seizes Wenonah and draws Jicr to C.) 

Elizabeth. Wenonah, what is it? 

Wenonah. He waits — there. {Points outside.) 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 23 

Elizabeth (excitedly). He — John? No, you are mis- 
taken. • 

Wenonah (shaking head). No — he — wait. He say put 
Hgh.t in window when alone. (Elizabeth seizes candle from 
mantel and rushes to windozv. She is about to place it in 
zvindozv, when Wenonah catches her arm.) No — danger. 
I tell him — I bring him — {inquiringly) here? 

Elizabeth (replacing candle on mantel). Here, We- 
nonah — here. Quickly — quickly. (Exit Wenonah, L. U. E.) 

In a fezv moments she reappears, ushering in John 
Harvey, zvearing a long army cape, high boots and a hat 
pulled over his eyes. 

Elizabeth (holding out hands). John — John! 

John (throzmng off hat and rushing to her). Betty! 
Oh, it's worth a thousand risks just to see you again; 
just to hear your voice — just to know that it's you! 

Elizabeth (anxiously). A thousand risks, John. What 
do you mean ? Are you in danger ? 

John. A man is seldom out of danger these days, 
Betty. I'm just in a little more deeply tonight — that's all. 

Elizabeth. You mean — 

John. I've been followed. 

Elizabeth (going to Wenonah, zvho is standing L. U. 
E.). Wenonah, watch outside — watch carefully. Keep 
hidden, and if you see a soldier — a soldier, Wenonah — or a 
stranger, come back and let us know. Do you under- 
stand ? 

Wenonah. I — understand. (Exit L. U. E.) 

Elizabeth (pushing John in chair at C). Sit there. 
Rest while you can. (Drags hassock from R. U. E. beside 
him and seats herself). Now, tell me all. Why are you 
liere ? Why — 

John. I must tell you quickly, for there is only a mo- 
ment. Washington is crossing the Delaware now and he 
will attack the Hessians' camp early this morning. He 
sent me on to find the weak places in the defence of the 
camp. I am to report to him upon his landing. 

Elizabeth. He sent you — he trusted you that much! 



24 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

John. The Hessians are in the midst of high carousal. 
The camp is carelessly guarded. (Tahes paper from 
pocket and points as he explains.) See here — and here — 
and here an attacking army might easily enter and as 
easily overwhelm. (Elizabeth takes the paper and closely 
examines it.) It is our chance — our chance — and we must 
not fail. 

Elizabeth. Y^ou said you were followed. 

JoH^N. I was ; but they've lost my trail. One would 
hardly look for a Continental soldier in a Tory liouse, I'm 
thinking. 

Elizabeth. Oh, I wish it were not a Tory house, John. 
I truly do. 

John. You're a brave little rebel, Betty, and I know 
you have many battles to fight these days. 

Elizabeth. Oh, I do, John. I do. They can't under- 
stand. 

John (quickly). They can't accept your standard — and 
they won't accept me. Is that it? (Elizabeth nods.) Are 
you sorry, Betty, that you've championed our cause — that 
you've cast 3^our lot with mine? 

Elizabeth (proudly). Sorry f Sorry, when I know 
I'm on the side of right? When just having you has made 
me the proudest and happiest girl in the United — States — 
that — is — to — be ? 

John (bending over her). Betty — Betty! 

Elizabeth. Is everything so desperate as they tell me? 
Is the enemy so strong? 

John. We've had dark days, Betty, but brighter ones 
are coming, and nothing is impossible with General Wash- 
ington at our head. Think of him now, crossing that 
frozen river — dauntless amid discouragements and dangers 
that would crush any other man. 

Elizabeth. And trusting yon to help him in this great 
move. Oh, I'm proud, John ; very proud. (Looks at 
paper.) This means much to him, doesn't it? 

John. It means almost the certainty of victory. 

Enter Wenonah. L. U. E. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 25 

Elizabeth (rising). Wenonah, what is it? 

Wenonah (i;i terror). Horses down there. (Point- 
ing.) Soldiers around house — Hstening — watching. 

John (rising). They've tracked me. I'm sorry, Betty. 
It's hard on you and I should never have risked this chance 
of seeing you. 

Elizabeth. Oh, John, it's of you I'm thinking — you 
and the message. 

John (grimly). Not for a moment will I fail, Betty. 
My honor is at stake. The country is in need, and noth- 
ing shall stop me. (Takes hat and prepares to go L. U. E.) 

Elizabeth (catching his arm). John, you can't go that 
way. It will mean death to you. Wait. Let me think. 
(Suddenly.) Where is your horse? 

John. Down in the garden. 

Elizabeth (excitedly). Then I can save you! I can 
save you ! Look ! (Rushes to mantel, touches spring and 
slides back the panel, revealing secret passage.) This is 
the secret passage of our house. It leads to the garden. 
Here (places lighted candle in John's hand), follow the 
path — it will take you to the summer house. They will 
not be watching for you there. You can make your escape. 
Oh, hurry, hurry! (John enters passage.) 

John (turning). Bless you, Betty — and goodbye! 

Elizabeth. Goodbye, John — goodbye. (Shuts panel.) 
Watch, Wenonah, watch. (Exit Wenonah, L. U. E.) 

There is a tense silence for several moments. Then a 
pistol shot rings out — another and still another. Wenonah 
rushes in from L. U. E. 

Wenonah. They follow — they shoot! 

Elizabeth (to herself). If they wound him, if they 
capture him, what of the message? (Glances at paper 
zvhicJi she still holds in her hand.) The General must 
know. John's honor must be saved. The covuitry must 
not suffer. (Suddenly.) Wenonah, my coat. (Pointing 
to R. of C. in F.) There — the long black one. (Exit We- 
nonah R. of C. in P., returning almost immediately with 
coat. Elizabetpi' throws it around herself, places paper in 
her bodice, takes the other candle from the mantel.) 



26 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Come, Wenonah ! (Enters secret passage follozved by 
Wenonah. The panel slides back.) 

(Here the curtain is lozvered for a moment to indicate the 
passing of a few hours.) 

Scene II. The same as Scene I. At rise, Madame Drew 
is seated at R. 2 E. zuith sezuing. Caroline is reclining 
upon sofa. Annette is at piano. Stage brightly illumi- 
nated, since it is noon. 

Caroline (sitting upright). Do stop that strumming, 
Annette. My head is fairly splitting. 

Annette. Due to the frequency with which you drank 
the King's health last night. Don't blame the music. 

Madame D. (reprovingly). Due also to the late hour 
at which you ceased your frivolity. 

Annette (turning on piano stool). Early .hour, you 
mean, mother. 

Caroline (rising and strolling to zvindozv R. U. E.). 
Did you hear the shots last night? 

Annette (yazvning). Which shots? Any different 
from the shots we're hearing all the time? 

Caroline. Different in that they were close at hand. 

Annette (carelessly). The Hessians were target prac- 
ticing, perhaps. 

Caroline (ironically). -At the dead of night? Very 
likely. 

Madame D. Hot in pursuit of an escaped soldier, I 
suspect. 

Annette. The pursuit is a possible thing ; but I argue 
any kind of hotness on a Christmas night in New Jersey. 

Madame D. What a blessing it is that our home is out 
of Trenton. These two or three miles take us far from 
the reminders of war. 

Caroline. And, incidentally, from the unpleasant neces- 
sity of looking at the Hessians. (Shudders.) Ugh! How 
I hate them. 

Annette. I'd never admit it to Elizabeth, but I do 
think that England might have managed to fight without 
the help of hired soldiers. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 27 

Madame D. Speaking of Elizabeth, it's time for her 
to be up. There's no excuse for such late hours. 

Caroline. She's probably angry over what we said 
last night. 

Annette. More likely that she's out on one of her 
long tramps. 

Madame D. She hasn't breakfasted. I've inquired. (Ris- 
ing.) I'll send Wenonah to waken her. 

Caroline. Oh, no you won't. Wenonah has departed 
— nobody knows where. 

Madame D. Nonsense ! I left her with Elizabeth last 
night. They were about to put out the lights. 

Annette. Put out the lights? Why, the housemaid 
found the lamps still burning this morning, and the candles 
flickering in their sockets. 

Madame D. (going toward mantel). That's strange — 
very strange. 

Caroline. It isn't strange that Wenonah has left, if 
that's what you mean. Even her devotion to Elizabeth 
couldn't draw her entirely from her Indian life. 

Madame D. But to go — without a word. (Stands by 
mantel.) 

Annette (rising). That's the Indian of it. Still, she 
may be back by night time. Who knows? (Goes to Caro- 
line, R. U. E.) 

Madame D. (sternly). I shall waken Elizabeth myself. 
(Exit R. of C. in F.) 

Annette. What do you find in the landscape that's so 
absorbing? (Pitts arm about Caroline's shoulder.) 

Caroline. Something must have happened in the town. 
Such passing and repassing on the road — soldiers, towns- 
people and — 

Annette. What a pity we're no nearer. It's tantal- 
izing not to know. (Peers out window.) 

Caroline. Shall we send a servant to find out? Or 
do you feel like playing spy? 

Enter Madame Drew, hastily, R. of C. in F. 



28^ BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Madame D. (in agitation). She's not there — she's not 
there! (Advances to C. hurriedly.) 

Annette (crossing and standing R. of Madame Drew). 
Now, mother, there's nothing to make you so excited. EHz- 
abeth doubtless has gone out on a morning walk. 

Madame D. But her bed has not been slept in. (Sinks 
in chair at C. Caroline crosses back of Madame Drew 
and stands at her left.) 

Caroline (patting Madame Drew's shoulder). Before 
you know it she'll be walking in with some adventure to 
relate, some — , 

Madame D. (interrupting). But the shots last night — 
the disappearance of Wenonah. Something has happened. 
I know it — I feel it. 

Annette. The shots? No, no. (Looking at Caro- 
line.) Do you suppose — 

Caroline. Oh, surely not. 

Madame D. How do we know but that she was carried 
off? 

Annette. Without a sound? (Looks around.) With- 
out any sign of resistance? (Shakes head.) I can't be- 
lieve that. 

Caroline. And why should anyone carry off Elizabeth? 
(Suddenly. ) Unless — unless — 

Madame D. (sharply). Unless — what? 

Caroline. Unless her reckless talk last night about the 
King — 

Madame D. (quickly). Has caused her capture? They 
wouldn't dare — they wouldn't dare — 

Annette. Oh, yes, they would, mother. Anything is 
dared in war times. 

Madame D. (proudly). Not by His Majesty's soldiers! 

Caroline. I'm not so sure of that. Soldiers are soldiers. 

Annette. And there is no such liberty as free speech — 
among the enemies of Britain. 

Madame D. (in despair). What are we to do? 

Caroline. In Elizabeth's own words — wait and see. 

Madame D. Wait? Do nothing? When she may, even 
now, be a captive in the British army? 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 29 

Annette. Why the British? 

Madame D. (in surprise). What do you mean? 

Annette. Didn't she say that if a red-coated soldier 
carried her off, there'd be a bhie and buff* one to rescue 
her ? 

Madame D. You mean — John Harvey? 

Annette. John Harvey. 

Caroline (excitedly). Then it was he last night who 
came for her — who was fired upon- — who — (three regular 
taps sound). What was that? (Tapping continues.) 

Annette (crossing to door L. U. E.). A servant, 
doubtless. (Opens door, looks out and closes it again.) 
No one here. (Tapping continues.) 

Caroline. The window, perhaps. (Goes to each zvin- 
dow in turn.) No. (Tapping continues.) 

Madame D. (nervously) . Can it be the wind? 

Caroline (gazing out zvindozv). There is no wind. 

Madame D. This is not a natural sound. (Pauses. 
Tapping continues.) It frightens me. (Crosses L. of C.) 

Annette (listening) . It comes from that wall. (Points 
toward mantel.) 

Madame D. Impossible ! 

Annette (going toward mantel). Something in the 
chimney, perhaps. 

Caroline (excitedly). Wait — hush — let me listen. 
(Tapping continues.) That tapping- comes from the secret 
passage. 

Annette. The secret passage! Someone is there. ( ///- 
quiringly.) Shall I open it? (Madame Drew nods. An- 
nette touches spring, the panel slides, revealing Elizabeth, 
still zuearing the dark coat over her hall gozvn.) 

Madame D. (hysterically). Elizabeth! 

Annette. Where have you been? 

Madame D. Why have you frightened us this w^ay? 

Elizabeth (zvearily). Don't ask me questions. I'm so 
tired — so tired ! 

Caroline (taking Elizabeth's hand). Come in; you're 
cold — you're wet — 

Elizabeth. I can't come in until I give my message. 



30 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE." 

It isn't a welcome one, but you must hear it. This morn- 
ing General Washington surprised the Hessian camp, took 
a thousand prisoners and captured a thousand stands of 
arms. (Steps inside.) 

Madame D. It isn't true — it can't be true. 

Elizabeth. But it is true. I saw it. I was a part of it. 

Madame D. Explain yourself. 

Elizabeth. General Washington sent John ahead to 
reconnoitre, to find the weak places in the camp defence 
and to report before the attack. 

Annette. Ah, I begin to understand. He came here, 
didn't he? He was discovered — 

Elizabeth (excitedly). Then you heard the shots? 
(Calming herself.) Yes, he did come. He showed me 
the plan of attack, and when Wenonah warned him of 
pursuit, I sent him through the secret passage. (Pauses.) 

Caroline (eagerly). And then? 

Elizabeth. I feared his capture. I feared the message 
would never reach headquarters. Wenonah helped me sad- 
dle my horse and I rode my fastest to General Washington. 

Madame D. (angrily). I shall never forgive you for 
this treachery, Elizabeth — never! 

Elizabeth. Oh, mother, you will some day — you must! 

Caroline (sarcastically). Well, a pretty sight you are 
and a fine name you've made for yourself after this mad 
performance. 

Annette. All for a common spy who neglects his duty, 
allows himself to be taken prisoner and — 

Elizabeth. Oh, but he escaped. He rode into camp 
shortly after my arrival. General Washington makes much 
of him, trusts him, and — 

Madame D. Doubtless laughs at you for your ridiculous 
part in the matter — for forcing yourself into affairs that do 
not concern you or yours. 

Elizabeth. Mother, listen. 

Madame D, No, T'll not listen. 1 have been lenient 
with you too long, Elizabeth. Henceforth I'll see that you 
are far removed from the scenes of this disgraceful re- 
bellion. 



PA' WAV OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 31 

Elizabeth. More than ever, mother, have I pledged 
my loyalty to the patriot cause. 

Madame D. Hov^ dare you? 

Elizabeth. For not an hour ago, with the good Gen- 
eral as witness, I became John Harvey's wife. (All attempt 
to speak.) No; not a word — not a word! I'm too happy 
for reproaches. This very room is full of sweetest memo- 
ries and each Christmas night in the years to come it will 
be haunted by the happy spirits of the two who found 
love, freedom and victory by way of the secret passage ! 

Curtain. 



Act hi. 

Scene: Same as Act I. Hassock is placed R. of chair 
at C. Stage well lighted as it is morning. 

At rise, Rita is seated at C, Alice on hassock and 
Ruth R. 2 E. with embroidery. 

Rita {dramatically). And then — I awoke! 

Alice (sighing). It's wonderful, Rita, perfectly won- 
derful ! Did you really see them ? 

Rita. Every one — heard them talk — and almost touched 
them. 

Ruth. That second helping to mince pie yesterday cer- 
tainly gave you a large and elegant nightmare. (Emphat- 
ically.) That's all / have to say. 

Rita. No nightmare about it. 'Twas a regular con- 
nected story. 

Ruth. With cerebral excitement as its basis, 

Rita. I don't know what cerebral excitement is, and 
whatever it is, it isn't what caused my dream. I saw all 
those people, I tell you. I know what they said. The 
memory of them is so distinct that — (breaks off abruptly 
and ga^es fixedly over left shoulder). 

Alice (nervously) . Rita, what is it? (Rises.) 

Rita. The little Indian maid — Wenonah, they called 
her. (Alice zvalks to L. U. E., opens door, looks out and 
closes it. 



32 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

Ruth (rising). Where? 

Rita (still ga/:ing into space). Over by the door. 
(Pauses and then turns to Ruth.) 'Tis in my mind's eye, 
child, so don't get frightened. 

Ruth. You begin to get on my nerves. (As she is 
about to seat herself R. 2 E. Rita shrieks.) Heavens! 
What is the matter? 

Rita. You were just about to sit on Madame Drew. 
She is there (pointing to chair R. 2 E.) — with her sewing, 
and she isn't the kind of person one can sit on with im- 
punity. 

Ruth (spitefully). From all reports, it strikes me that 
she is the very one that needs sitting on — so here goes ! 
(Seats herself heavily and resumes work.) 

Rita (looking over left shoidder at Alice, who is com- 
ing tozvard C). Alice, Alice,* you walked right over An- 
nette's toes then and bumped into Elizabeth herself. 
Haven't you any respect for real personages ? 

Ruth. What about yourself. It seems quite likely that 
you're trespassing, too. Who sat in that chair? (Points 
to RiTA^s chair.) 

Rita (complacently). John Harvey. 

Alice. Y'ou're not playing fair. You can't have the 
only man, even if he is just a ghost. Get up and give i]ie 
a chance. (Tries to pull Rita from chair.) 

Rita (forcing Alice on hassock). No, no, Alice. Y"ou 
must sit just where Elizabeth sat — at my — I mean, John 
Harvey's feet. 

Alice (struggling) . I sit on no man's feet! (As Rita 
holds her dozvn.) Help! Help! 

Ruth. Humor the poor lunatic, Alice. Hunks of 
mince pie and chunks of imagination have done their worst. 
She thinks she is John Harvey. (Mockingly.) What 
wouldst thou, noble youth? (Rises and ^oes toward man- 
tel.) 

Rita (taking an imaginary paper from her gozvn and 
pointing). See here — and here — and here — an attacking 
army might easily enter and as easily overwhelm. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 33 

Alice (shaking her head). Alas, milord! 'Tis written 
ill blank verse — I cannot read. 

Rita (disgnstedly). Now, who isn't playing- fair? I'm 
doing my best to visualize the scene for you and you re- 
fuse to get into the spirit of the thing. (Ruth strikes 
three resounding zvhacks upon the fireplace. Rita jumps 
and turns half around.) Goodness, what was that? 

Ruth (sarcastically). The shots. Don't you recog'nize 
them? Oh, come, now; get into the spirit of the thing. 

Alice (mockingly). Is't thou, Wenonah? 

Ruth (strikijig an attitude). Faith, and it's the young 
gintleman I would be afther warnin'. There's a pair of 
Uncle Sam soldier boys what's a trackin' him and a-howlin' 
bloody murther. And, beggin' your grace, sor, they're 
usin' bullets so reckless like that you'd best be makin' 
thracks or you'se a dead one ! 

Enter Hannah, L. U. E., with duster. 

Ruth. Holy Saint Pathrick presarve your soul ! 

Hannah (dusting sofa). What is it. Miss Ruth — play 
acting ? 

Ruth. Only a movie, Hannah, to illustrate Rita's thrill- 
ing account of Elizabeth crossing the Delaware, or Thought, 
Bled and Married, AU-of-a-Sudden ! 

Rita (rising and going L. U. E.). They're making fun 
of me and my dream. Couldn't it have been true, Hannah? 
Couldn't I have seen it just as it happened long time ago? 

ITannah (pausing in zvork). 'Tis the second sight — 
the inner eye that's been given you. Miss Rita. Only on 
Christmas night could the vision have come to you. 

Rita. Then you don't doubt that it was real — that 'twas 
more than a dream? 

Hannah (dusting piano). Doubt f Never in the world. 
Time just rolled back for you and made you a very part 
of what happened in this room so many years ago. 

Ruth (sitting in desk chair). Now, Hannah, do you 
mean to say that this imaginative child would have had 
this extra vision had you not told her the story beforehand? 

Hannah. It would have come to her, Miss Ruth; it 



34 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

would have come. 'Twas Christmas night — the time for 
revelation. 

Alice. But science says — 

Hannah. Science doesn't understand everything, Miss 
Alice — any more than zue do. (Crosses back of Alice to 
L. of stage and continues her dusting.) 

Rita. And science shall not spoil my beautiful dream. 
(Stands before picture over sofa, back to audience.) Isn't 
she lovely, Hannah? You should have seen her sweep in 
that door (pointing to R. of C. in F.), fling up her little 
head and stand her ground. 

Enter Mrs. Sherman, R. of C. in F. 

Mrs. S. The dream again, Rita? (Stands by Rita and 
looks tip at the picture.) 

Ruth. The dream, again? It promises to be now and 
forever. Don't ask her to repeat it, Mrs. Sherman, for 
I've heard it four times already. (Wailing.) Please don't 
let her tell it. 

Mrs. S. Well, it was an experience, we must admit — 
one of the unusual things that sometimes come to one. 
The "atmosphere" must have been intense, my dear, to 
have supplied so vivid and realistic a picture to you. (Sits 
on sofa.) 

Ruth. Embryo psychic powers, I'm thinking — "seventh 
daughter of a seventh daughter." 

Alice. Wouldn't it be thrilling to have a clair\oyant 
for one's dearest friend. 

Rita. Joke if you wish, dear friends, but you're jealous 
of my experience and you know it. (Sits by Mrs. Sher- 
man.) 

Ruth. And any little scepticism which we happen to 
have would quickly disappear if you'd put the Q. E. D. to 
your proposition and touch the spring to the secret passage. 

Rita. Y^ou think I don't know. 

Alice. Oh, no, we don't. We just ask you to demon- 
strate what you do know ? 

Rita (emphatically). Not till Betty comes. Not till 
Betty comes. How many times must I say it? 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 35 

Mrs. S. Betty's absence begins to worry me. I can't 
account for it. 

Rita (tragically). Have you searched her room? Has 
her bed been slept in? 

Mrs. S. (laughing). Very much slept in. No excite- 
ment there, Rita. 

Alice. Betty isn't given to early rising. 

Mrs. S. That also puzzles me. 

Hannah (pausing in her zuork). But the telephone 
message — 

Mrs. S. (in surprise). The telephone message? 

Hannah. Weren't you told? The message came early 
this morning. Miss Betty snatched a piece of toast, drank 
a cup of coffee and rode to town before the rest of you 
were up. 

Mrs. S. Oh, so that's it. Then we need worry no longer, 
for it's quite evident that Jack was at the other end of the 
wire. (Exit Hannah R. of C. in F.) 

Alice (sighing). It muSt be heavenly to be in love. 

Mrs. S. But a great trial to the families of the parties 
involved. 

Rita (thoughtfully). Has there ever been any opposi- 
tion to Jack? 

Mrs. S. (in surprise). Opposition f Why, no. What 
made you ask? 

Ruth. Dear Mrs. Sherman, she wants Betty to elope 
through that secret passage and rival the escapade of her 
ancestor. 

Mrs. S. (laughing). You funny child. I fear that 
your romantic soul must do without the extras this time. 
In Betty's own forceful language, we "fell" for Jack at 
first sight. 

Rita. What a shame ! His being a socialist or a raving 
anarchist would certainly have added local color. 

Alice. And Betty would have defied opposition and 
ridden away on his motorcycle with the same spirit that 
animated the Elizabeth of other days. 

Mrs. S. Alas, I fear that nothing but the conventional 
wedding is in store for Betty — with the usual sequence 



36 BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

of rice and old shoes. (Three knocks sound.) Come in! 
(Pause.) Why, I heard a knock. 

Alice. So did I. (Tapping continues.) 

Mrs. S. I'll open the door. (Rises and goes L. U. E., 
opens door, looks out and closes door.) There's nothing 
here. (Tapping continues.) 

Ruth (jumping up). Maybe it's Betty at the window. 
(Rushes to each windozv in turn and looks out.) No. 
(Stands by zvindow R. U. E.) 

Mrs. S. (coming dozvn L.). Perhaps it's the wind. 

Ruth (looking out). But there is no wind. (Tapping 
continues. Meanzvhile Rita has risen in great e.v cite merit.) 

Rita (clasping her hands). It's — it's in the secret pas- 
sage. 

Ruth. There you go again. Are you sure that you 
know where the secret passage is? (Tapping continues.) 

Rita (excitedly). Oh, it is from the secret passage — it 
is. (Seizing Mrs. Sherman.) Mrs. Sherman, tell them 
that I'm right. 

]\Irs. S. Let me listen. (Pause. Tapping continues.) 
It certainly comes from that direction. (With excitement.) 
Oh, I wonder if it could be so — if anyone would use it ! 

Rita. May I open it? Nozv? And test the revelation of 
the dream? (Mrs, Sherman nods, Rita touches spring, 
the panel slides, revealing Betty in riding suit.) 

All. Betty! (Mrs. Sherman and Rita stand L.). 

Ruth (coming tozvard R. of mantel). Where have you 
been ? 

Betty. Down in the city with Jack. He telephoned for 
me. I thought you knew. 

Alice. Why did you come — this way? (Points to 
passage.) 

Betty. Didn't I say that I'd reveal its whereabouts to- 
day? (Alice joins Ruth R. of mantel.) Well, I've kept 
my promise. (Steps inside.) 

Ruth. Suppose there had been no one here to release 
you, you harum-scarum thing ! ! 

Betty. Then I should have gone back the way I came. 

Rita (impressiveily) . But someone zvas here. 



BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 37 

Betty. And doubtless Auntie touched the spring with 
proper dignity. 

Mrs. S. But Auntie didn't. 

Betty. Then who did? 

Mrs. S. Rita. 

Betty (in surprise). Rita! How could she? 

Rita. I had a dream, Betty — a perfectly wonderful 
dream. (Comes close to Betty and starts to tell her.) 

Betty (interrupting). And you're going to tell me all 
about it — some other time, my dear. I'm not dealing in 
dreams today — (rapturously) only in glorious realities. 

Ruth. Betty! Something's happened. 

Betty. Everything's happened ! The sun, moon and 
stars have changed their courses — the bottom of the 
world's dropped out and I'm just beginning- to live! 

Mrs. S. Why, Betty! 

Betty. I'll give you three guesses. 

Rita (eagerly). Washington has surprised the Hessians 
and has taken a thousand prisoners and has captured a 
thousand stands of arms. (Betty stares at her in amaze- 
nient.) 

Ruth. Don't mind her. She's as crazy as you. 

Mrs. S. (suddenly) . Betty — Betty — has 'Jack received 
his commission? 

Betty. Auntie guessed right the very first time. It 
came this morning, and he goes tonight. (Joyfully.) He 
goes tonight ! 

Alice. Betty, you are crazy. How can you smile when 
he is going? 

Betty. Because — I'm going with him! 

Mrs. S. (anxiously) . Betty, what do you mean? 

Betty (rushing to Mrs. Sherman). Oh, Auntie, I'm a 
harum-scarum thing, but you'll be good to me, won't you? 
(Puts arm around Mrs. Sherman's neck.) I met Jack 
this morning-. When he told me the commission had come, 
I couldn't let him go. I couldn't say no to his pleadings — 
so — (she hesitates) so — I married him this morning! 
(JVaz'es her hand displaying zvedding ring, then turns and 
faces picture over sofa.) Oh, you dear lady of other days! 



3S, BY WAY OF THE SECRET PASSAGE. 

(Kisses her hand to the picture.) I know now just how 
you felt — it's in the blood, I'm thinking — and I've brought 
the self-same message in the self-same way, on the self- 
same morning! (As they gather around her.) Not a word 
— not a word ! Jack will help me explain. (Breaks away, 
rushes to secret passage and turns.) He's waiting. Shall 
I bring him to you by way of the secret passage? 

Curtain. 



Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown 

By WALTER BEN HARE. 

Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 4 males, 7 females (5 are children). 
Time, 2^4 hours. Scene: 1 interior. Characters: Mrs. Tubbs, 
the sunshine of Shantytown. Miss Clingie Vine, her lady boarder, 
real genteel. Mrs. Hickey, a neighbor who hates gossip. Maydelle 
Campbell, the young school teacher. Simon Rubbels, the corner 
grocery man. Tom Riordan, the census taker. Queenie, aged 
twelve. Methusalem, aged eleven. Billy, aged seven. Victoria, 
aged three. Elmira, aged ten. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Mrs. Mollie Tubbs and her happy little family in 
Shantytown. The pretty, young school teacher and the Census 
Taker have a disagreement. Mrs. Tubbs as first aid to Cupid. 
Mrs. Hickey expresses her opinion of Simon Rubbels. Miss Clingie 
Vine has her census taken. "My maw was a Virginia Hamm, and 
whenever we had company, papaw always wore full evening 
garbage." Bad news from Kansas. "There ain't no way too far 
for a mother's love. I'm going to my boy." 

Act II. — A month later. Mrs. Tubbs returns. Simon Rubbels 
decides to find a wife. "If he ain't a red -headed hippopotamus, 
there never was one on this green earth," A Shantytown high 
jinks with song and menagerie. Clingie Vine decides to be a siren. 
The light in the window for Jimmie. "I've got my babies, and 
I've got their love, and all the money in the world can't take that 
from me, so Mr. Simon Rubbles, the honorable Mrs. Tubbs re- 
spectfully declines your offer of matrimony." 

Act III. — A Shantytown Thanksgiving. Mrs. Hickey brings the 
news and Miss Vine inherits a fortune. Mr. Rubbels worries Mrs. 
Tubbs again. "You kin turn me out in the streets tomorrow, but 
tonight this house belongs to me. Now there's the door and 
there's your hat. I won't detain you no longer." Miss Vine and 
the good looking grocery boy. "Jimmie, my boy, my boy!" The 
return of the Prodigal Son. "I reckon I'm the happiest woman ir 
the United States of America. My cup runneth over, my cuf 
runneth over!" MRS. TUBBS SAYS: 

"Clingie's certainly a long time makin' up her mind, but when 
she's sot a steam shovel himself couldn't unset her." 

"I hope and I trust, and when a person hopes and trusts fer 
a thing they ginerally git it. Everything is bound to come out 
right some time." 

"I ain't goin' to worry. There ain't no use in h'istin' your 
umbrella until it begins to rain." 

"I jest do what I have to do and make the best of it. Mr. 
Tubbs used to say that my voice would scare anything, so I jest 
try to make it scare the blues." 

"Bibulous? Bibulous, Theodore Tubbs. bibulous? Why, mister, 
that man didn't know no more about the Bible than my sister's 
cat's tail. And what's more. I ain't got no sister. 

"Men is men the hull world over, and it seems jest like it's 
a man's nature to do that which they oughtn't to do. and to leave 
undone them things they ought to have did. That's Scripture." 

"What difference does money make? If you've got your youth 
and your strength and your love, that's worth all the money that 
was ever made in this whole world." 

"Love your country and stand up fei- it to the last ditch. Poor 
folks can love their country jest the same as rich ones. And better." 

"Keep smiling." ^^^ 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Macbeth a la Mode 

By WALTER BEN HARE. 

Price, 25 Cents 

School burletta in 3 acts; 7 males, 7 females, also teachers, 
students, etc., with only a few lines. Time, 1^4 hours. No scenery 
required, merely a front curtain and an easel with placards an- 
nouncing scenes. Plot: Willie Macbeth is the social leader of the 
Senior Class. With his friend Banquo he encounters Three 
Witches, who prophecy that he will pass his examinations, be 
elected to a class office and will play on the football team. The 
first two prophecies come true and in Act II, Lady Macbeth, his 
mother, arranges for him to play on the football team, by drugging 
the captain. Macbeth flies to the witches for further advice and 
learns that he will make a touchdown. He does, but runs with 
the ball toward the enemy's goal, thus losing the game for his 
own team. Contains five songs: "Fairwell, My Fairy Fay," 
"Tact," "The Senior Class," "Music and Laughter" and "Good 
Night," all sung to college airs. This play is very humorous and 
particularly adapted for schools. 

THE WITCHES' CHANT 



Round about the cauldron go; 

Mathematics you must know. 

Let X equal the cold stone. 

When will Y be thirty-one? 

Drop that in the mystic pan; 

Tell me, pray, how old is Ann? 

Double, double, boil and bubble, 

Mathematics makes them trou- 
ble. 

Fillet of a fenny snake. 

In the cauldron boil and bake; 

Eye of newt and toe of frog. 

Wool of bat and tongue of dog, 

Biology makes 'em cut and jab. 

Thirteen hours a week in lab. 

Latin, Greek and German, too, 

Fifty pages make a stew. 

And to thicken up the mystery. 

Take two chapters English His- 
tory. 

Physics, French and English Lit, 



Spend an hour on each or git. 
All night long from six to three. 
Study math and chemistry. 
In the hours when you should 

dream, 
Write an English twelve-page 

theme. 
Work at night and Sunday, too. 
Outside reading you must do. 
Next day, when you're on the 

bunk. 
Teacher springs exam — you 

flunk. 
Double, double, boil and bubble, 
High school life is full of trouble. 
Cool it with a Freshman's blood. 
Then the charm is thick and 

good. 
By the pricking of my thumbs, 
Something wicked this way 

comes. 



Reminiscences of the Donation Party 

By JESSIE A. KELLEY. 
Price, 25 Cents 

The soliloquy of a minister's wife, with tableaux. For 40 or 
more characters, both sexes, although the number is optional and 
it can be presented with a smaller cast. Time, about 35 mmutes. 
The wife at the side of the stage recounts the many amusmg 
incidents of the party, tells who attended and what they brought, 
etc. The characters appear in pantomime. This entertainment as 
unique. It fills the demand for something that can be put on at 
the last moment." It eliminates the usual long preparations re- 
quired in producing a play; no parts to memorize and it can be 
played on any platform. Highly humorous, replete with local hits 
and strongly recommended for church societie s. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price 15 Cents Each, Poetpald, Unless Different Price Is Given 



M. F. 

Documentary Evidence, *25 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min.... 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 ra. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Initiating a Gratiger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min ... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agen<^ ''O 

min 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... ^- 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. ? 3 

My Turn Next> 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr. . . . 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea, 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min. 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith, the Aviator, 40 min... 2 3 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

Tuctt Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 

Tuin Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Twp Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marry ? 20 min. 2 8 

Who Is Who? 40 min 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

M. F. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coori,^ Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell Col- 
lege, 15 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min . . 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min . 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min..... 2 
Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 
Recruiting Office, 15 min..... 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min.. 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, IS min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 

15 min 1 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min ...... 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min. 5 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Piays 

not found here are listed in 

Denlson's Catalogue 



T.S.DENiSON&COMPANY,Publishers,154W.RandoiphSt., Chicago 



POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 25 cents each 



, I PMctsocmrt f t 

LITTLE PEOPirS 
PLAY! 




5T.S.DENIS0>r 

i COMPANT 

PUBUSHERS CHICAGO 



tN this Series 
■^ are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



tly humorous. 



DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little P^fiDle's Plays. 

From 7AfOf§ years of age. 
Lively Diplaguen 

For all %esC 
Merry Little Dralo^ues. 

Thirty-eight .ongmal sel 
When the Lessons are 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Brand new, original, successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Connie Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 
Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of master m-*nds. 




The Poetical Entertainer. 

For reading or speaking. 
Pomes ov the Peepul. 

Wit, humor, satire, funny poems. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu 
m.orous, descriptive, prose 
poetry. 14 Nos., per No. 25c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washingtoi 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Cejebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

5^ How to put on plays. 
h^ow^ Pictures, Pantomimes 
y^^jbar'rades, and how to prepare. 
T^l^ux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway 
Ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletlde Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Min.strels' and end men's gag' 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc 

Larse Illustrated Catalogue Fre 



T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Pubiishers,154W.RandolphSt.,Chica8 








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